I amazed at the faithfulness of God throughout this entire time in my family's life! It is amazing how in the midst of this unbelievable tragedy God continues to give us glimpses of how He is using Jack and Hayes' lives to touch others.
There are moments that arise throughout each and every day where it is almost unbearable the pain of missing them. It seems like it is a dream that we are in right now, and at some point we will wake up and find that Jack and Hayes are still here as they should be. I do not mean to belabor the point of how unbelievable it is, but sometimes I just can't get past that fact. It is in the moments where I feel the lowest that God seems to give me a glimpse behind the curtain to see what it is He is doing.
There are many, including myself, that look at tragedies like what has happened to our family and ask God where were you? It sometimes seems like God is so distant and uncaring when you look at the evil that is in this world, and at all the horrendous things that seem to happen all over the place. There are many who would ask how a loving God could allow all this evil to happen. I do not have all the answers to those questions, but I can offer my own experience and how God has manifested His presence and care in my life.
When tragedy strikes the question comes down to where do you turn? It is easy to point at God in these types of situations and ask why didn't you change this outcome when I know you could. If God is all knowing and able to direct our lives then why would He let such unbelievable tragedies to fall on us? I don't want to give the pat answer and just say that God's ways are not our ways, even though that is true. As I have said in previous post God did not create death, destruction, and evil. He is altogether good and loving. This evil that exist in the world is not how God originally designed it to be. It was through the first sin of Adam and Eve that death and destruction entered the world.
I know that all of this is something that many of you have heard when tragedy strikes, but it is hard to truly take it to heart and have it mean anything to us. What I hope to do through this blog is take our loss and the faithfulness that God is showing our family, and hopefully bring home to you what a good God He truly is! He truly cares for each and everyone of you in a way that we can not even fathom.
I wish that each and every person that reads this blog or hears our story would experience the reality of Christ in their life as my family has. I do not say all of this to insinuate that there is anything special about my family because that is the farthest thing from the truth. To be going through this loss of a child a second time is something that could easily put Jess, myself, and our family into a tailspin that we could never pull out of. While I know many families make it through these kinds of experiences, there are also many that do not. There is nothing I have within myself that pulls me through this other than the power and grace of Christ! If it was not for the power of God I would not be able to function let alone go on with my life in any sort of meaningful way.
That not only goes for me, but for my wife as well. There is something about being a mommy and losing a child that goes to a level that I can't even understand. Not to say that she mourns and misses our boys more than me, but I know that there is something within in a mothers grief that I as a dad cannot understand. I can honestly say that it is only through the strength and grace of Christ that Jess is functioning today as well.
The big idea that I am trying to get across here is that the God of the Bible is as real and tangible as you and I are. He is not some distant entity that does not care about what is going on in this world, and more importantly in your life. He cares so much that Christ came and lived as a man and died for the sins of the world! He took all of our sin upon Himself and washed us clean if we choose to accept it, and rose again three days later so that we can live eternally in His presence.
God is so incredibly real!! I pray that you all experience the reality that I know to be true in the very core of my being. I am not relying on this as a crutch as some have wondered, I am relying on the one true God who formed me and cares about my every hurt and need. It is because of Christ that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am going to get to see my boys again! It is not some wish, hope, and fairytale that I am relying on, but the promise of the one and only God. I do not say all of this to preach and point fingers at anyone, but I say it only because I want anyone who ever hears our story to come to the confidence and peace that I have.
I am so unbelievably grateful for the prayers, support, and outpouring of love we have received!! Words cannot adequately express our gratitude, but know that we are in awe. I would ask as I close this post that when the trials and tribulations come, because they will, that you go to the true anchor for your soul. If you already know Christ I would ask that you look at how He has been faithful to you even in the midst of the tragedies and tribulations. For those of you who do not know Christ on that personal level I would ask that you go to Him and accept Him as you savior, so that you may know the same peace that is getting our family through this unbelievable time. Thank you all and know that as you are praying for us, we are asking God to minister to each and everyone of you at the same time.............
14 Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. 15 For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.